A Nun Grading papers, Thanks Jen.

 CAN YOU IMAGINE THE NUN SITTING AT HER DESK GRADING THESE PAPERS, ALL THE
 WHILE TRYING TO KEEP A STRAIGHT FACE AND MAINTAIN HER COMPOSURE!
 PAY SPECIAL ATTENTION TO THE WORDING AND SPELLING. IF YOU KNOW THE BIBLE
 EVEN A LITTLE, YOU'LL FIND THIS HILARIOUS! IT COMES FROM A CATHOLIC
 ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TEST.

 KIDS WERE ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE OLD AND NEW TESTAMENTS. THE FOLLOWING
 25 STATEMENTS ABOUT THE BIBLE WERE WRITTEN BY CHILDREN.THEY HAVE NOT BEEN
 RETOUCHED OR CORRECTED.INCORRECT SPELLING HAS BEEN LEFT IN.

 1. IN THE FIRST BOOK OF THE BIBLE, GUINESSIS. GOD GOT TIRED OF CREATING
 THE WORLD SO HE TOOK THE SABBATH OFF.

 2. ADAM AND EVE WERE CREATED FROM AN APPLE TREE. NOAH'S WIFE WAS JOAN OF
 ARK. NOAH BUILT AND ARK AND THE ANIMALS CAME ON IN PEARS.

 3. LOTS WIFE WAS A PILLAR OF SALT DURING THE DAY, BUT A BALL OF FIRE
 DURING THE NIGHT.   (lucky Lot)

 4. THE JEWS WERE A PROUD PEOPLE AND THROUGHOUT HISTORY THEY HAD TROUBLE
 WITH UNSYMPATHETIC GENITALS.   (sounds painful)

 5. SAMPSON WAS A STRONGMAN WHO LET HIMSELF BE LED ASTRAY BY A JEZEBEL LIKE
 DELILAH.

 6. SAMSON SLAYED THE PHILISTINES WITH THE AXE OF THE APOSTLES.

 7. MOSES LED THE JEWS TO THE RED SEA WHERE THEY MADE UNLEAVENED BREAD,
 WHICH IS BREAD WITHOUT ANY INGREDIENTS.

 8. THE EGYPTIANS WERE ALL DROWNED IN THE DESSERT. AFTERWARDS, MOSES WENT
 UP TO MOUNT CYANIDE TO GET THE TEN COMMANDMENTS.

 9. THE FIRST COMMANDMENTS WAS WHEN EVE TOLD ADAM TO EAT THE APPLE.

 10. THE SEVENTH COMMANDMENT IS THOU SHALT NOT ADMIT ADULTERY.

 11. MOSES DIED BEFORE HE EVER REACHED CANADA THEN JOSHUA LED THE HEBREWS
 IN THE BATTLE OF GERITOL.
 (..well afterall, it was a long trip)

 12. THE GREATEST MIRICLE IN THE BIBLE IS WHEN JOSHUA TOLD HIS SON TO STAND
 STILL AND HE OBEYED HIM.

 13. DAVID WAS A HEBREW KING WHO WAS SKILLED AT PLAYING THE LIAR. HE FOUGHT
 THE FINKELSTEINS, A RACE OF PEOPLE WHO LIVED IN BIBLICAL TIMES.

 14. SOLOMON, ONE OF DAVIDS SONS, HAD 300 WIVES AND 700 PORCUPINES.
 (there's a difference?)

 15. WHEN MARY HEARD SHE WAS THE MOTHER OF JESUS, SHE SANG THE MAGNA CARTA.


 16. WHEN THE THREE WISE GUYS FROM THE EAST SIDE ARRIVED THEY FOUND JESUS
 IN THE MANAGER.  (early descendents of the '3 Stooges'?)

 17. JESUS WAS BORN BECAUSE MARY HAD AN IMMACULATE CONTRAPTION.

 18. ST. JOHN THE BLACKSMITH DUMPED WATER ON HIS HEAD.

 19. JESUS ENUNCIATED THE GOLDEN RULE, WHICH SAYS TO DO UNTO OTHERS BEFORE
 THEY DO ONE TO YOU. HE ALSO EXPLAINED A MAN DOTH NOT LIVE BY SWEAT ALONE.

 20. IT WAS A MIRICLE WHEN JESUS ROSE FROM THE DEAD AND MANAGED TO GET THE
 TOMBSTONE OFF THE ENTRANCE.

 21. THE PEOPLE WHO FOLLOWED THE LORD WERE CALLED THE 12 DECIBELS.  (and
 boy..were they loud!)

 22. THE EPISTELS WERE THE WIVES OF THE APOSTLES.

 23. ONE OF THE OPPOSSUMS WAS ST. MATTHEW WHO WAS ALSO A TAXIMAN. (hmmm,
 animals driving cabs --interesting)

 24. ST. PAUL CAVORTED TO CHRISTIANITY, HE PREACHED HOLY ACRIMONY, WHICH IS
 ANOTHER NAME FOR MARRAIGE.

 25. CHRISTIANS HAVE ONLY ONE SPOUSE. THIS IS CALLED MONOTONY.






     Aren't children great?