Ole is the Pastor of the local Norwegian Lutheran Church and Pastor Sven is the minister of the Swedish Covenant Church across the road.
One day they are seen pounding a sign into the ground, which said:
DA END ISS NEAR!
TURN YERSELF AROUNT NOW
BAFOR IT ISS TOO LATE!
As a car speeds past them, the driver leans out his window and yells, "Leave
People alone, you Skandihoovian religious nuts!"
From the curve they heard screeching tires and a big splash.
Shakin' his head, Rev. Ole says "Dat's DA terd one dis mornin'."
"Yaa," Pastor Sven agrees, then asks, "Do ya tink maybe DA sign should yust say, 'Bridge Out?'"
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Do you know it is Tuesday 28th allready?
Yes this year is going by faster than last one. I just would like to share a couple of items that have been happening this last week-end.
It seems thou our tyres are not doing to good. Saturday afternoon, one of our guys drove over a piece of rebar. Big Hole. Then on Sunday hit the Camp gate and blew another hole into the bus tire. I know it happens BUT. I know I have shared this with you all before, I HAVE JOB SECURITY HERE AT ALC AND ALC CAMP. So yesterday I had to go buy two used tyres, bus $160.00 needed a valve stem too. The other tyres for the Toyota truck was another $40.00.
OH I have another story about the bus too. God is so good to me. Look at the picture above. See the box on the hood of the bus? Well before I left to get the used tyres, I had trouble with the alternator, a wire was broken and I replace the hook on the end to fasten the wire to the alternator. I left the box on top o the hood. Not thinking of it. I drove 7 miles to the tyre place. The kid there asked me about the box on top of the hood? I just praise my Lord. Plus when the guys was done replacing the tyres gave them a tip. For the work and his keen eye.
Today I will work on the gate. It needs some TLC. I straighten the frame out on Sunday afternoon.
Oh last week I ran a new wire from the basketball court to the bathrooms. The wire that use to carry the electric to the court was not to good shape. Tim, Mark and I worked on that last week. Guess WHAT. Two nights ago, the kids wanted to play basketball at night. It blew the circuit breaker and now I need to run a new wire from the Dinning Hall. Hey Harri I think this is what we will do tomorrow?
I AM SO GLAD I HAVE CHRIST AS MY HELPER. If you have days like I do? I don't have to worry about what I do here? He is right there with me and that is all I need to know.
It seems thou our tyres are not doing to good. Saturday afternoon, one of our guys drove over a piece of rebar. Big Hole. Then on Sunday hit the Camp gate and blew another hole into the bus tire. I know it happens BUT. I know I have shared this with you all before, I HAVE JOB SECURITY HERE AT ALC AND ALC CAMP. So yesterday I had to go buy two used tyres, bus $160.00 needed a valve stem too. The other tyres for the Toyota truck was another $40.00.
OH I have another story about the bus too. God is so good to me. Look at the picture above. See the box on the hood of the bus? Well before I left to get the used tyres, I had trouble with the alternator, a wire was broken and I replace the hook on the end to fasten the wire to the alternator. I left the box on top o the hood. Not thinking of it. I drove 7 miles to the tyre place. The kid there asked me about the box on top of the hood? I just praise my Lord. Plus when the guys was done replacing the tyres gave them a tip. For the work and his keen eye.
Today I will work on the gate. It needs some TLC. I straighten the frame out on Sunday afternoon.
Oh last week I ran a new wire from the basketball court to the bathrooms. The wire that use to carry the electric to the court was not to good shape. Tim, Mark and I worked on that last week. Guess WHAT. Two nights ago, the kids wanted to play basketball at night. It blew the circuit breaker and now I need to run a new wire from the Dinning Hall. Hey Harri I think this is what we will do tomorrow?
I AM SO GLAD I HAVE CHRIST AS MY HELPER. If you have days like I do? I don't have to worry about what I do here? He is right there with me and that is all I need to know.
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Okay today is another day here at ALC Camp
About the picture below. Yesterday after the group left to go back home, I went into the men's bathroom. Noticed the fan on the wall was missing. I know they would not need to take the fan home with them. So I asked around, Nate and Kathlin if they knew anything about it? They both said NO. So I am sorry to say MAYBE one of my neighbors needed a fan for their place? Not sure how they will mount it on the wall in their place? They forgot the bracket. So last night I went to Kelly's and bought a new one. ($86.50)I will not put it up until the next group gets here. They will be coming in around 2:30pm. The reason I think they STOLEN it was, the Camp gate is let open during the day. The reason is I only have one clicker and I open it up at 6:00am and close it at 9:00pm. I have ordered new clickers from Ft. Laud, FL. I hope for them to come in this next week. The reason is we have others staying here in the Camp too. Nate the over seer of Mission Discover, Kathlin (helper for ALC Summer Camp) Now Eddy is back too, he will be helping Mark out with the ALC Summer Campers too. Then we have Linda, she is the one cooking for our Mission Discover Groups. So that is why the gate is open and closed at those times. I know I could make it a little harder or every one. I could just take it out of gear and everyone could open and close it on their own.
Friday, June 24, 2011
Did you know this about Penguins?
Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica - where do they go?
Wonder no more ! ! !
It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life.
The penguin is very committed to its family and will mate for life, as well as maintaining a form of compassionate contact with its offspring throughout its life.
If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the family and social circle have been known to dig holes in the ice, using their vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird to be rolled into and buried. The male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave and sing:
"Freeze a jolly good fellow"
"Freeze a jolly good fellow."
"Then they kick him in the ice hole."
You really didn't believe that I know anything about penguins, did you?
It's so easy to fool OLD people.
I am sorry, the devil made me do it!!!
I fell for it too.
Wonder no more ! ! !
It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life.
The penguin is very committed to its family and will mate for life, as well as maintaining a form of compassionate contact with its offspring throughout its life.
If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the family and social circle have been known to dig holes in the ice, using their vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird to be rolled into and buried. The male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave and sing:
"Freeze a jolly good fellow"
"Freeze a jolly good fellow."
"Then they kick him in the ice hole."
You really didn't believe that I know anything about penguins, did you?
It's so easy to fool OLD people.
I am sorry, the devil made me do it!!!
I fell for it too.
Mark Wallace has given us a update on our News Letter
When you get a chance, please copy and paste the web site below to see our News Letter for this last month. I really think you will understand more of what and why we do what we do here at The Adventure Learning Centre here in the Bahamas.
https://app.e2ma.net/app/view:CampaignPublic/id:29211.9477735567/rid:04a725708fef2c2aa8d9a7252c62cd2b
I really hope you can get see how our Lord Jesus Christ has kept this place running and see how many kids have gone through this last year.
My e mail address is toms@alcbahamas.org
https://app.e2ma.net/app/view:CampaignPublic/id:29211.9477735567/rid:04a725708fef2c2aa8d9a7252c62cd2b
I really hope you can get see how our Lord Jesus Christ has kept this place running and see how many kids have gone through this last year.
My e mail address is toms@alcbahamas.org
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Hey every one
I have some GREAT NEWS, Betsy, my sister is out of the coma. That is right, see I have asked for prayer and He has blessed her. I just love sharing what He does in my life. I look back and I am sorry to say, I really didn't think she would come out of this one. So folks if you ever think prayer doesn't work, PLEASE ask me. I can show you over and over again HOW GOOD MY GOD Jesus Christ is so good to me and others that ask Him.
I am part of our mission department at Calvary Chapel Ft. Laud, prayer list. I have been praying for others now for over a year. I see prayer work and just look at the answered ones. This list is for the missionaries that are all over the world, that are part of Calvary. He has been so faithful and just knowing that I know He is real and right along side of us each and every day we are on this earth. Now if you have passed from this earth, you are right with Him. IF YOU HAVE TRUSTED HIM TO BE YOUR SAVOR?
Folks I love passing on prayer request, please if you have any, let me know and I will put them in my blog.
If you have any God stories, pass them on to me and would love to share with others too.
Just e mail me at toms@alcbahamas.org
I am part of our mission department at Calvary Chapel Ft. Laud, prayer list. I have been praying for others now for over a year. I see prayer work and just look at the answered ones. This list is for the missionaries that are all over the world, that are part of Calvary. He has been so faithful and just knowing that I know He is real and right along side of us each and every day we are on this earth. Now if you have passed from this earth, you are right with Him. IF YOU HAVE TRUSTED HIM TO BE YOUR SAVOR?
Folks I love passing on prayer request, please if you have any, let me know and I will put them in my blog.
If you have any God stories, pass them on to me and would love to share with others too.
Just e mail me at toms@alcbahamas.org
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Monday, June 20, 2011
Sunday, June 19, 2011
When you get a chance take a look at all the pictures below.
Hey I just love being part of all that goes on around our church. Like first of all, Friday during the day, Harri a friend of mine from Calvary. We replace the drain line for the air cond in the Barn. That was a job. The old one was way to high to drain the water out. So in the bottom of the pan was always fulling up. Now it should flow right down the line and out in the grass. Plus that day we work over at the Camp. Getting ready for a group of students coming today. There is a group called Mission Discovery. They have been renting our place since the 90's. This group main reason for coming is to help out at a couple of churches on the island here. Plus other things too. During the Spring they get in contact with other churches around the states and ask them to get together a group and come on over here and help out with their contacts they have been helping now for over 16 years. Today I will be picking them up around 4pm and during the week you will be able to see who they are and their stories.
Now next you will see our Singles meeting last night. We had a speaker coming in Helen Arenet. She went over Chapter #11 of the Safe People book we have been working on since a year or so. She did a great job and I think everyone had a good time too. You know we had food and fellowship. I just love these folks and look forward in seeing what we will do next. At this time we will be taking a break until Sept. The reason is so many people go away during the Summer and it really is not worth trying to keep in going.
Friday night you see we had a final night with the Men's Fellowship. It really was neat to see so many guys coming out to support our church. I was blown away to see them. We had a time to eat and then hear from Ralph Hanna, he is the one that over sees this group. Then after that had a time to play games and ask questions and just get to know each other.
Now next you will see our Singles meeting last night. We had a speaker coming in Helen Arenet. She went over Chapter #11 of the Safe People book we have been working on since a year or so. She did a great job and I think everyone had a good time too. You know we had food and fellowship. I just love these folks and look forward in seeing what we will do next. At this time we will be taking a break until Sept. The reason is so many people go away during the Summer and it really is not worth trying to keep in going.
Friday night you see we had a final night with the Men's Fellowship. It really was neat to see so many guys coming out to support our church. I was blown away to see them. We had a time to eat and then hear from Ralph Hanna, he is the one that over sees this group. Then after that had a time to play games and ask questions and just get to know each other.
Friday, June 17, 2011
Well just to get you caught up alittle
There a couple of pictures below. The first one is part of our Summer Camp. We are very blessed to see all that has come out to help us. I am sorry but I really don't know every ones name so I will not even try to tell you. Like I said in this picture we are missing a couple more. So by His providing us staff we will be able to run a full house here. Looking at around 70 kids each week. Prayerfully, this will happen. It is not the money we are looking at, it is the joy we see in each kid that comes through here and they will all have a chance to hear God's Word. If you understand what we do and why. That is the bottom line, them Knowing Christ. We will be doing a lot of things this Summer and I will try to keep you all in the loop.
Now on my side. Linda is going to be cooking for Mission Discovery this Summer at our Camp. She had her hands full a couple of days ago. I asked her to clean up the stove. It is old and really doesn't get the cleaning it needs every time we use it. So now it is looking good and she can keep it clean and running. Plus Eldora and her went shopping yesterday to get the supplies that will be needed for these groups. They will be flying in on Sunday and it is a small group of 23. I did pick up Nate last night at the airport. He was telling me that there is no helpers coming this Summer for Mission Discovery Groups. I know we will make is happen.
Like I said before He is running this place and that is all I need to know.
Now on my side. Linda is going to be cooking for Mission Discovery this Summer at our Camp. She had her hands full a couple of days ago. I asked her to clean up the stove. It is old and really doesn't get the cleaning it needs every time we use it. So now it is looking good and she can keep it clean and running. Plus Eldora and her went shopping yesterday to get the supplies that will be needed for these groups. They will be flying in on Sunday and it is a small group of 23. I did pick up Nate last night at the airport. He was telling me that there is no helpers coming this Summer for Mission Discovery Groups. I know we will make is happen.
Like I said before He is running this place and that is all I need to know.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Monday, June 13, 2011
I do have a large Prayer request
I am sad to say that my step sister (Betsy) is in CCU at Boca Hospital in West Palm Beach, Florida. She has been in a coma since last week. I just got word last night from my brother in law. I have asked a friend of mine to go visit her. But now knowing she will not be able talk with her. This will not be able to happen.
I asked for prayer for her to come out and be able to have her life back. I know it is not looking good at this time. But I know my Lord is willing and able to do anything we ask, as long it is His will. So please say a prayer or two. She really is a great woman and has done so much for others. Like I said I talked with Lenny, (brother in law), all he could say is she is such a good woman. I told him that it rains on the just and the unjust too.
I think of her and see a wonderful woman that our Lord made to be a example of a servant.
I asked for prayer for her to come out and be able to have her life back. I know it is not looking good at this time. But I know my Lord is willing and able to do anything we ask, as long it is His will. So please say a prayer or two. She really is a great woman and has done so much for others. Like I said I talked with Lenny, (brother in law), all he could say is she is such a good woman. I told him that it rains on the just and the unjust too.
I think of her and see a wonderful woman that our Lord made to be a example of a servant.
Yes today is WHIT MONDAY
While you probably enjoy having the day off for the Late Spring Bank Holiday do you know why we have this holiday?
The holiday originates from the Christian festival of Pentecost (also known as Whit Sunday). Pentecost is observed on the seventh Sunday after Easter. On this day the Holy Spirit visited the disciples and inspired them to go out and preach the word of Christ. For this reason the day is celebrated as the anniversary of the birth of the Christian church. Traditionally a time of baptism, the alternative name Whit Sunday, or White Sunday, derives from the custom of wearing white while being baptized. Whit Monday (the bank holiday) was of course the following day.
Easter is a moveable holiday so the Whit Monday used to fall anywhere between 11 May and 14 June, (the day after the seventh Sunday after Easter.) To make this a regular date, in 1971, Whit Monday was formally replaced by a fixed spring holiday on the last Monday in May. Although the bank holiday no longer falls on the church's Whitsuntide most people still refer to this holiday as Whit Monday.
There are a number of customs associated with Whit Monday. In the south west of England you can see cheese rolling and throwing competitions. In the north west Whit walks are parades led by local brass bands, clergy, dignitaries and uniformed organisation such as Girl Guides and Scouts. The walks often end up at a Whit Ale a type fair with sports, competitions, dancing and of course drinking and eating!
The holiday originates from the Christian festival of Pentecost (also known as Whit Sunday). Pentecost is observed on the seventh Sunday after Easter. On this day the Holy Spirit visited the disciples and inspired them to go out and preach the word of Christ. For this reason the day is celebrated as the anniversary of the birth of the Christian church. Traditionally a time of baptism, the alternative name Whit Sunday, or White Sunday, derives from the custom of wearing white while being baptized. Whit Monday (the bank holiday) was of course the following day.
Easter is a moveable holiday so the Whit Monday used to fall anywhere between 11 May and 14 June, (the day after the seventh Sunday after Easter.) To make this a regular date, in 1971, Whit Monday was formally replaced by a fixed spring holiday on the last Monday in May. Although the bank holiday no longer falls on the church's Whitsuntide most people still refer to this holiday as Whit Monday.
There are a number of customs associated with Whit Monday. In the south west of England you can see cheese rolling and throwing competitions. In the north west Whit walks are parades led by local brass bands, clergy, dignitaries and uniformed organisation such as Girl Guides and Scouts. The walks often end up at a Whit Ale a type fair with sports, competitions, dancing and of course drinking and eating!
Sunday, June 12, 2011
I know it is only Sunday.
Hey this week-end is only half over. Here in the Bahamas we have off on Monday too. Witt Monday. Will explain next time. I had a chance to go out with a couple of my guy friends Friday night. We all meet at a place called The Cricket Club. No it is not a place to see bugs? It is called the Cricket Club because right below is the field that they use to play cricket. Yes these islands where owned by England so Cricket is a big ting here. I have only watched it twice. Still not sure what goes on while they are playing it. All I know is this Cricket Club has some good food and they even have a couple of guys playing a drum and organ.
The reason we got together was, just to share what has been going on in our lives and just get caught up a little on life itself. I have known these guys, Rudy, Harold and Ambrose for over 5 years. Eric was here during Patmos 4 years ago. So we try to get together and see what has been happening. By just sitting there and listening. I hear they are all pretty busy with work and a couple of these guys have children too. So it has been a rough road for a couple of them. I just love these guys and enjoy their company.
Then Saturday night I had a chance to go visit a couple I have known for about 4 years. This is Harri, (Clarence) and Carol. Now I know you have seen Harri before on this blog. He comes over to the ALC and helps me out with some work projects on every other Friday. I really haven spent that much time with his wife. Carol. So they asked me over and we had a good fellowship time. You know getting to know each other. Carol was sharing about her life as growing up. She was brought up in Canada. Just north of Toronto. Really sounded like the good old days. You knew everyone and they knew you too. It sounds nice, but every one knew your business too.
I am so blessed to be able to call them my family here. Harri is a guy that is willing to help us out at ALC. Which to me is a real friend. He could be staying home working on his own home or just relaxing. But Friday comes along he is there to do the job.
The reason we got together was, just to share what has been going on in our lives and just get caught up a little on life itself. I have known these guys, Rudy, Harold and Ambrose for over 5 years. Eric was here during Patmos 4 years ago. So we try to get together and see what has been happening. By just sitting there and listening. I hear they are all pretty busy with work and a couple of these guys have children too. So it has been a rough road for a couple of them. I just love these guys and enjoy their company.
Then Saturday night I had a chance to go visit a couple I have known for about 4 years. This is Harri, (Clarence) and Carol. Now I know you have seen Harri before on this blog. He comes over to the ALC and helps me out with some work projects on every other Friday. I really haven spent that much time with his wife. Carol. So they asked me over and we had a good fellowship time. You know getting to know each other. Carol was sharing about her life as growing up. She was brought up in Canada. Just north of Toronto. Really sounded like the good old days. You knew everyone and they knew you too. It sounds nice, but every one knew your business too.
I am so blessed to be able to call them my family here. Harri is a guy that is willing to help us out at ALC. Which to me is a real friend. He could be staying home working on his own home or just relaxing. But Friday comes along he is there to do the job.
Saturday, June 11, 2011
The web page I was talking about
The Tribune of Nassau, Bahamas.
http://www.tribune242.com/06102011_AIDfire_news_pg1
Just cut or copy and paste it on Google. You can read the same story I wrote about.
http://www.tribune242.com/06102011_AIDfire_news_pg1
Just cut or copy and paste it on Google. You can read the same story I wrote about.
If you have checked out my blog for the last 5 years
I have written about two main business that have gone up in flames since I have been here. My only question is HOW and WHY can't they stop the fire after it is started? The two business I am talking about is Paint Place burnt down in 2006 (I think) Then Topps Lumber went up in 2008. Like I said I think these are the years. But why. I read the news paper this morning about what happen. FIRST right after the fire started they ran out of water? The reason was the fire plug was not working. Then I read about how they had to call in the Airports fire trucks. The reason was there were fuels and other things like paint and what ever a auto part store has. They didn't call them until after 6pm. The fire started around 2:30pm. I am writing word for word that is in the Friday The Tribune: By 6pm the fire had intensified and fire services called for reinforcements from the Air Port Authority as the fire APPEARED TO BE CHEMICAL????????????????What do you mean appeared to BE It was a auto part store and every auto part store I know of has chemicals. I am sorry but this was very foolish and it should had been the first call to be made.
If you want to read the story yourself go on the web page and put in The Tribune Nassau, Bahamas.
Being a auto part store the fire department should know better
If you want to read the story yourself go on the web page and put in The Tribune Nassau, Bahamas.
Being a auto part store the fire department should know better
Friday, June 10, 2011
When you are INSULTED, CHOOSE TO PRAY
When You Are Insulted, Choose to Pray
by Tom Holladay
"Pray for those who insult you." Luke 6:28 (GWT)
When it comes to being insulted, there is something Jesus said in Matthew 5 that can make us scratch our heads. "If someone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other cheek also" (Matthew 5:39 NCV). Huh?
In order to understand this verse, we need to understand the culture of that day. In biblical times, a slap was not an act of violence. It was a backhanded slap indicating an insult. When you slapped someone on the cheek, you were insulting that person. Many times the person would slap back with another insult.
People insult you to gain control. If they can get you to insult them back, you've given them the higher ground and it puts them in control.
What Jesus was saying in Matthew 5 is to just let it go. Don't play their game. Give the situation to God.
It takes a lot of strength not to insult someone in return. So how do you do it?
Remember what God says about you. No matter what negative thing that person says, remember that God says he loves you. God made you, and he has a plan and purpose for your life. God's opinion is more important than any other person's opinion.
Instead of retaliating, God wants us to break the cycle in a different way. "Don't retaliate when people say unkind things about you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God wants you to do, and he will bless you for it" (1 Peter 3:9 NLT). How do you return an insult with a blessing? Pray. "Pray for those who insult you" (Luke 6:28 GWT).
How do you pray for somebody who has hurt you? King David, a man after God's own heart, prayed for people who insulted and rejected him. You can find many of those prayers in the book of Psalms. What I love about his prayers is that he begins many of them by telling God his honest feelings about the people who hurt him.
That's how our prayers should start. Don't pretend to be pious; God knows what is on your mind anyway. Tell God how you honestly feel. Admit you are struggling to pray for the other person, but then ask God to bless him or her. Honest and humble prayers have the power to make a difference in this world.
"Love is knowing God, and happiness is sharing Him with others".
Love one another: for love is of God".
John 4:7
Betty (Betts)
by Tom Holladay
"Pray for those who insult you." Luke 6:28 (GWT)
When it comes to being insulted, there is something Jesus said in Matthew 5 that can make us scratch our heads. "If someone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other cheek also" (Matthew 5:39 NCV). Huh?
In order to understand this verse, we need to understand the culture of that day. In biblical times, a slap was not an act of violence. It was a backhanded slap indicating an insult. When you slapped someone on the cheek, you were insulting that person. Many times the person would slap back with another insult.
People insult you to gain control. If they can get you to insult them back, you've given them the higher ground and it puts them in control.
What Jesus was saying in Matthew 5 is to just let it go. Don't play their game. Give the situation to God.
It takes a lot of strength not to insult someone in return. So how do you do it?
Remember what God says about you. No matter what negative thing that person says, remember that God says he loves you. God made you, and he has a plan and purpose for your life. God's opinion is more important than any other person's opinion.
Instead of retaliating, God wants us to break the cycle in a different way. "Don't retaliate when people say unkind things about you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God wants you to do, and he will bless you for it" (1 Peter 3:9 NLT). How do you return an insult with a blessing? Pray. "Pray for those who insult you" (Luke 6:28 GWT).
How do you pray for somebody who has hurt you? King David, a man after God's own heart, prayed for people who insulted and rejected him. You can find many of those prayers in the book of Psalms. What I love about his prayers is that he begins many of them by telling God his honest feelings about the people who hurt him.
That's how our prayers should start. Don't pretend to be pious; God knows what is on your mind anyway. Tell God how you honestly feel. Admit you are struggling to pray for the other person, but then ask God to bless him or her. Honest and humble prayers have the power to make a difference in this world.
"Love is knowing God, and happiness is sharing Him with others".
Love one another: for love is of God".
John 4:7
Betty (Betts)
Thursday, June 09, 2011
Come on these are JOKES and ONLY JOKES Laugh a little.
*DISNEYLAND*
Two blondes were going to Disneyland . They were driving on the
Interstate when they saw the sign that said Disneyland LEFT. They
started crying and turned around and went home.*
FLORIDA OR MOON*
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one
blonde says to the other, 'Which do you think is farther away... Florida
or the moon?' The other blonde turns and says 'Helloooooooooo, can you
see Florida?'*
CAR TROUBLE*
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the
Mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling
smoothly.*
She says, 'What's the story?'*
He replies, 'Just crap in the carburetor'*
She asks, 'How often do I have to do that?'*
SPEEDING TICKET*
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely
if he could see her license.*
She replied in a huff, 'I wish you guys would get your act together.
Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to
show it to you!'*
RIVER WALK*
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees
another blonde on the opposite bank 'Yoo-hoo!' she shouts, 'How can I
get to the other side?'*
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts
back, 'You ARE on the other side.'*
AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE*
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that
her body hurt wherever she touched it.*
Impossible!' says the doctor.. 'Show me.'*
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed,
then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee
and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she
touched made her scream.*
The doctor said, 'You're not really a redhead, are you?*
Well, no' she said, 'I'm actually a blonde.'*
I thought so,' the doctor said, 'Your finger is broken.'*
KNITTING*
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.
Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the
wheel was knitting!*
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the
trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled,
'PULL OVER!'*
NO!' the blonde yelled back, 'IT'S A SCARF!'*
BLONDE ON THE SUN*
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.*
The Russian said, 'We were the first in space!'*
The American said, 'We were the first on the moon!'*
The Blonde said, 'So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!' The
Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads.*
You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!' said the Russian.*
To which the Blonde replied, 'We're not stupid, you know. We're going
at night!'*
IN A VACUUM*
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night.... It was her turn. She
rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was,
'If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?'
She thought for a time and then asked, 'Is it on or off?'*
FINALLY,
THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!*
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs,
and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that
one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, 'Whoever
heard of someone naming dogs like that?' 'HELLLOOOOOOO......,' answered
the blonde. They're watch dogs.
Two blondes were going to Disneyland . They were driving on the
Interstate when they saw the sign that said Disneyland LEFT. They
started crying and turned around and went home.*
FLORIDA OR MOON*
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one
blonde says to the other, 'Which do you think is farther away... Florida
or the moon?' The other blonde turns and says 'Helloooooooooo, can you
see Florida?'*
CAR TROUBLE*
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the
Mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling
smoothly.*
She says, 'What's the story?'*
He replies, 'Just crap in the carburetor'*
She asks, 'How often do I have to do that?'*
SPEEDING TICKET*
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely
if he could see her license.*
She replied in a huff, 'I wish you guys would get your act together.
Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to
show it to you!'*
RIVER WALK*
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees
another blonde on the opposite bank 'Yoo-hoo!' she shouts, 'How can I
get to the other side?'*
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts
back, 'You ARE on the other side.'*
AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE*
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that
her body hurt wherever she touched it.*
Impossible!' says the doctor.. 'Show me.'*
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed,
then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee
and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she
touched made her scream.*
The doctor said, 'You're not really a redhead, are you?*
Well, no' she said, 'I'm actually a blonde.'*
I thought so,' the doctor said, 'Your finger is broken.'*
KNITTING*
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.
Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the
wheel was knitting!*
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the
trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled,
'PULL OVER!'*
NO!' the blonde yelled back, 'IT'S A SCARF!'*
BLONDE ON THE SUN*
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.*
The Russian said, 'We were the first in space!'*
The American said, 'We were the first on the moon!'*
The Blonde said, 'So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!' The
Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads.*
You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!' said the Russian.*
To which the Blonde replied, 'We're not stupid, you know. We're going
at night!'*
IN A VACUUM*
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night.... It was her turn. She
rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was,
'If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?'
She thought for a time and then asked, 'Is it on or off?'*
FINALLY,
THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!*
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs,
and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that
one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, 'Whoever
heard of someone naming dogs like that?' 'HELLLOOOOOOO......,' answered
the blonde. They're watch dogs.
Wednesday, June 08, 2011
Today is June 8th 2011
Do you know I have been here for 6 years, (June 2, 2005). If you have been watching my blog and seeing all that has been going on since I have been here. I just am so blessed to say I signed up for 6 months and look it has been 6 years. I have been told before that most maintenance people only make it for a year or two. Not even thinking 6 years. I do look back at the times when I really did ask Him, am I suppose to be here still? I am here because of Him and only because of HIM Jesus Christ.
It has been a rough road some days and easy one too. All I can say is I am here until He calls me out. I do love being part of this ministry Adventure Learning Centre. But if you have read some of the tings I deal with. You would ask yourself how does he he still do it? Like I have talked about before, His grace and His strength. There is no other answer.
So now what do I do? I will stay here until He comes and gets me, or He tells me it is time to go somewhere else.
Now you can understand the picture I have above here. I do get to lay around on a hammock and play with Scooby. Oh this is after I worked all day long.
It has been a rough road some days and easy one too. All I can say is I am here until He calls me out. I do love being part of this ministry Adventure Learning Centre. But if you have read some of the tings I deal with. You would ask yourself how does he he still do it? Like I have talked about before, His grace and His strength. There is no other answer.
So now what do I do? I will stay here until He comes and gets me, or He tells me it is time to go somewhere else.
Now you can understand the picture I have above here. I do get to lay around on a hammock and play with Scooby. Oh this is after I worked all day long.
Tuesday, June 07, 2011
Ministry Of Encouragement
**RELIGIOUS HUMOR**
**A father was approached by his small son who told him proudly, "I know
what the Bible means!"
His father smiled and replied, "What do you mean, you 'know' what the
Bible means?
The son replied, "I do know!"
"Okay," said his father. "What does the Bible mean?"
"That's easy, Daddy..." the young boy replied excitedly," It stands for
'Basic Information Before Leaving Earth.' (This one is my favorite)
=======
There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an old family Bible to
her brother in another part of the country.
"Is there anything breakable in here?" asked the postal clerk.
"Only the Ten Commandments." answered the lady.
========
"Somebody has said there are only two kinds of people in the world.
There are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good morning,
Lord," and there are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good
Lord, it's morning."
========
A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because
he was short of time and couldn't find a space with a meter.
Then he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: "I have
circled the block 10 times. If I don't park here, I'll miss my
appointment. Forgive us our trespasses."
When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with
this note "I've circled this block for 10 years. If I don't give you a
ticket I'll lose my job. Lead us not into temptation."
========
There is the story of a pastor who got up one Sunday and announced to
his congregation: "I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we
have enough money to pay for our new building program. The bad news is,
it's still out there in your pockets."
========
While driving in Pennsylvania, a family caught up to an Amish carriage.
The owner of the carriage obviously had a sense of humor, because
attached to the back of the carriage was a hand printed sign... "Energy
efficient vehicle: Runs on oats and grass. Caution: Do not step in exhaust."
========
A Sunday School teacher began her lesson with a question, "Boys and
girls, what do we know about God?"
A hand shot up in the air. "He is an artist!" said the kindergarten boy.
"Really? How do you know?" the teacher asked.
"You know - Our Father, who does art in Heaven... "
========
A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a
long holiday weekend. The attendant worked quickly, but there were many
cars ahead of him. Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant pump.
"Reverend," said the young man, "I'm so sorry about the delay. It seems
as if everyone waits until the last minute to get ready for a long trip."
The minister chuckled, "I know what you mean. It's the same in my business."
========
People want the front of the bus, the back of the church, and the center
of attention.
========
Sunday after church, a Mom asked her very young daughter what the lesson
was about.
The daughter answered, "Don't be scared, you'll get your quilt."
Needless to say, the Mom was perplexed. Later in the day, the pastor
stopped by for tea and the Mom asked him what that morning's Sunday
school lesson was about.
He said "Be not afraid, thy comforter is coming."
========
The minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask
the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for
repairs to the church building. Therefore, he was annoyed to find
that the regular organist was sick and a substitute had been brought in
at the last minute. The substitute wanted to know what to play.
"Here's a copy of the service," he said impatiently. "But, you'll have
to think of something to play after I make the announcement about the
finances."
During the service, the minister paused and said, "Brothers and Sisters,
we are in great difficulty; the roof repairs cost twice as much as we
expected and we need $4,000 more. Any of you who can pledge $100 or
more, please stand up."
At that moment, the substitute organist played "The Star Spangled Banner."
And that is how the substitute became the regular organist!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you carry the Bible, Satan gets a headache..... When you open it,
he collapses..... When he sees you reading it, he faints..... When he
sees that you are living what you read, he flees..... And when you are
about to forward this message.... He will try and discourage you. I
just defeated him!!! Any other takers?
============================
MINISTRY OF ENCOURAGEMENT
**A father was approached by his small son who told him proudly, "I know
what the Bible means!"
His father smiled and replied, "What do you mean, you 'know' what the
Bible means?
The son replied, "I do know!"
"Okay," said his father. "What does the Bible mean?"
"That's easy, Daddy..." the young boy replied excitedly," It stands for
'Basic Information Before Leaving Earth.' (This one is my favorite)
=======
There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an old family Bible to
her brother in another part of the country.
"Is there anything breakable in here?" asked the postal clerk.
"Only the Ten Commandments." answered the lady.
========
"Somebody has said there are only two kinds of people in the world.
There are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good morning,
Lord," and there are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good
Lord, it's morning."
========
A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because
he was short of time and couldn't find a space with a meter.
Then he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: "I have
circled the block 10 times. If I don't park here, I'll miss my
appointment. Forgive us our trespasses."
When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with
this note "I've circled this block for 10 years. If I don't give you a
ticket I'll lose my job. Lead us not into temptation."
========
There is the story of a pastor who got up one Sunday and announced to
his congregation: "I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we
have enough money to pay for our new building program. The bad news is,
it's still out there in your pockets."
========
While driving in Pennsylvania, a family caught up to an Amish carriage.
The owner of the carriage obviously had a sense of humor, because
attached to the back of the carriage was a hand printed sign... "Energy
efficient vehicle: Runs on oats and grass. Caution: Do not step in exhaust."
========
A Sunday School teacher began her lesson with a question, "Boys and
girls, what do we know about God?"
A hand shot up in the air. "He is an artist!" said the kindergarten boy.
"Really? How do you know?" the teacher asked.
"You know - Our Father, who does art in Heaven... "
========
A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a
long holiday weekend. The attendant worked quickly, but there were many
cars ahead of him. Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant pump.
"Reverend," said the young man, "I'm so sorry about the delay. It seems
as if everyone waits until the last minute to get ready for a long trip."
The minister chuckled, "I know what you mean. It's the same in my business."
========
People want the front of the bus, the back of the church, and the center
of attention.
========
Sunday after church, a Mom asked her very young daughter what the lesson
was about.
The daughter answered, "Don't be scared, you'll get your quilt."
Needless to say, the Mom was perplexed. Later in the day, the pastor
stopped by for tea and the Mom asked him what that morning's Sunday
school lesson was about.
He said "Be not afraid, thy comforter is coming."
========
The minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask
the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for
repairs to the church building. Therefore, he was annoyed to find
that the regular organist was sick and a substitute had been brought in
at the last minute. The substitute wanted to know what to play.
"Here's a copy of the service," he said impatiently. "But, you'll have
to think of something to play after I make the announcement about the
finances."
During the service, the minister paused and said, "Brothers and Sisters,
we are in great difficulty; the roof repairs cost twice as much as we
expected and we need $4,000 more. Any of you who can pledge $100 or
more, please stand up."
At that moment, the substitute organist played "The Star Spangled Banner."
And that is how the substitute became the regular organist!
------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you carry the Bible, Satan gets a headache..... When you open it,
he collapses..... When he sees you reading it, he faints..... When he
sees that you are living what you read, he flees..... And when you are
about to forward this message.... He will try and discourage you. I
just defeated him!!! Any other takers?
============================
MINISTRY OF ENCOURAGEMENT
Saturday, June 04, 2011
Please take a minute and read this. I hope you laugh as hard as I did
If you don't know GOD, don't make stupid remarks!!!!!!
A United States Marine was taking some college courses
between assignments. He had completed 20 missions in Iraq
and Afghanistan . One of the courses had a professor who
was an avowed atheist, and a member of the ACLU.
One day the professor shocked the class when he came in.
He looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, "GOD, if you are real, then
I want you to knock me off this platform... I'll give you exactly 15 min."
The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes
went by and the professor proclaimed, "Here I am GOD, I'm still waiting."
It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Marine got
out of his chair, went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him;
knocking him off the platform. The professor was out cold.
The Marine went back to his seat and sat there, silently.
The other students were shocked and stunned, and sat there
looking on in silence. The professor eventually came to,
noticeably shaken, looked at the Marine and asked,
"What in the world is the matter with you? Why did you do that?"
The Marine calmly replied,
"GOD was too busy today protecting America 's
soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid stuff and
act like an idiot. So He sent me."
The classroom erupted in cheers!
A United States Marine was taking some college courses
between assignments. He had completed 20 missions in Iraq
and Afghanistan . One of the courses had a professor who
was an avowed atheist, and a member of the ACLU.
One day the professor shocked the class when he came in.
He looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, "GOD, if you are real, then
I want you to knock me off this platform... I'll give you exactly 15 min."
The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes
went by and the professor proclaimed, "Here I am GOD, I'm still waiting."
It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Marine got
out of his chair, went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him;
knocking him off the platform. The professor was out cold.
The Marine went back to his seat and sat there, silently.
The other students were shocked and stunned, and sat there
looking on in silence. The professor eventually came to,
noticeably shaken, looked at the Marine and asked,
"What in the world is the matter with you? Why did you do that?"
The Marine calmly replied,
"GOD was too busy today protecting America 's
soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid stuff and
act like an idiot. So He sent me."
The classroom erupted in cheers!
Hello my friends from CCA 4th grade
I just finished cutting out all of your letters so I could take a picture of them. I am so happy to hear from you guys. It really was nice of Mrs Adams to have you all write a note or two. I read them last night and then wrote back to all of you. I really hope and pray I didn't miss any one of you?
I know your school year is ending very shortly. So I don't think I will see you again in your class. But when I do get back that way, around Sept, I would love to see you guys again. I know by then you will all be in different classes. So maybe I will see you around the campus during my time there.
I just want you all to know how much I enjoyed reading your letters. Oh plus how you all ask me about my tooth. Like I told you in the e mail. It has been pulled and I still need some more work done on my mouth. So please when your mom or dad ask to to go to the dentist. Please go and don't be scared. They are there to help you not to hurt you. I had to learn the hard way. I didn't like my dentist, but I wish I went more offend. I would not have the trouble I am having now. Please listen to your mom and dad. They love you very much and that just want the best for you.
I really hope and pray you have a wonderful Summer and like I said, maybe we will see each other next time I am in town. If not I know we will see each other in heaven down the road.
I just want to say thank you very much Mrs Adams for your time and willingness to have me come in and share with your class.
I am not sure if the school will be doing that next school year or not. I hope so. It is a lot of fun to see these kids faces and smiles while I was there.
Thank you again for all of your prayers too. I know that is how I make each day here at the Adventure Learning Centre. That is the only way I would be able to fix and repair all I do here.
I know your school year is ending very shortly. So I don't think I will see you again in your class. But when I do get back that way, around Sept, I would love to see you guys again. I know by then you will all be in different classes. So maybe I will see you around the campus during my time there.
I just want you all to know how much I enjoyed reading your letters. Oh plus how you all ask me about my tooth. Like I told you in the e mail. It has been pulled and I still need some more work done on my mouth. So please when your mom or dad ask to to go to the dentist. Please go and don't be scared. They are there to help you not to hurt you. I had to learn the hard way. I didn't like my dentist, but I wish I went more offend. I would not have the trouble I am having now. Please listen to your mom and dad. They love you very much and that just want the best for you.
I really hope and pray you have a wonderful Summer and like I said, maybe we will see each other next time I am in town. If not I know we will see each other in heaven down the road.
I just want to say thank you very much Mrs Adams for your time and willingness to have me come in and share with your class.
I am not sure if the school will be doing that next school year or not. I hope so. It is a lot of fun to see these kids faces and smiles while I was there.
Thank you again for all of your prayers too. I know that is how I make each day here at the Adventure Learning Centre. That is the only way I would be able to fix and repair all I do here.
Friday, June 03, 2011
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