I hope these are in order Just enjoy a smile

Clean joke and you will even laugh

**This is one of the best clean jokes I've seen in a while!**
**Jesus and Satan were having an on-going argument about who was
better on the computer. They had been going at it for days, and
frankly God was tired of hearing all the bickering.**
**Finally fed up, God said, 'THAT'S IT! I have had enough. I am
going to set up a test that will run for two hours, and from those
results, I will judge who does the better job.'**
**So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away.**
**They moused.**
**They faxed.**
**They e-mailed.**
**They e-mailed with attachments.**
**They downloaded.**
**They did spreadsheets!**
**They wrote reports.**
**They created labels and cards.**
**They created charts and graphs.**
**They did some genealogy reports.**
**They did every job known to man.**
**Jesus worked with heavenly efficiency and Satan was faster than
hell.**
**Then, ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly
flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, rain poured, and, of course,
the power went off.**
**Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word
known in the underworld.**
**Jesus just sighed.**
**Finally the electricity came back on, and each of them restarted
their computers. Satan started searching frantically, screaming:**
**'It's gone! It's all GONE! 'I lost everything when the power went
out!'**
**Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files
from the past two hours of work.**
**Satan observed this and became irate. 'Wait!' he screamed. 'That's
not fair! He cheated! How come he has all his work and I don't have
any?'**
**God just shrugged and said,**
**JESUS SAVES....**

Go Gitcha Momma

A redneck family from the hills was visiting the city and they were in a

mall for the first time in their lives. The father and son were

strolling around while the wife shopped. They were amazed by almost

everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that

could move apart and then slide back together again.


The boy asked, 'Paw, what's at?' The father (never having seen an

elevator) responded, 'Son, I dunno. I ain't never seen anything like

that in my whole life, I ain't got no idea'r what it is.


While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old

lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a

button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small

room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small

circular number above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to

watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to

light in the reverse order. Then the walls opened up again and a

gorgeous, voluptuous 24 year-old blonde woman stepped out.


The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his

son..........


'Boy...................go gitcha Momma............. ?

When I say I am BROKE I am Broke.

A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.
'Good morning,' said the young man. 'If I could take a couple minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners...
''Go away!'' said the old lady. ''I'm broke and haven't got any money!'' and she proceeded to close the door.
Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open... ''Don't be too hasty!'' he said. ''Not until you have at least seen my demonstration.''
And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet.

Now if this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder."

The old lady stepped back and said, "well let me get you a fork, 'cause they cut off my electricity this morning."

11 People On A Rope, this is a joke laugh.

Eleven people were hanging on a rope, under a helicopter.

10 men and 1 woman.
The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one had to leave,
Because otherwise they were all going to fall.
They weren't able to choose that person, until the woman gave a very touching speech.

She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope, because, as a woman, she was used to giving up everything for her husband and kids or for men in general, and was used to always making sacrifices with little in return.

As soon as she finished her speech, all the men started clapping . . .. . . . .


PLEASE SEND THIS MAIL TO ALL INTELLIGENT WOMEN, SO
THAT THEY HAVE SOMETHING TO SMILE ABOUT TODAY
AND TO MEN WHO CAN TAKE A JOKE AND HAVE A GOOD LAUGH