Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex,
marriage, and Family values.
Bill said, 'I
didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?'
Larry replied, 'I'm
not sure, what was her maiden name?'
A little boy went
up to his father and asked: 'Dad, where did my intelligence come from?'
The father replied.
'Well, son, you must have got it from your mother, cause I still have mine.'
'Mr. Clark, I
have reviewed this case very carefully,' the divorce Court
Judge said, 'And
I've decided to give your wife $775 a week,'
'That's very fair,
your honor,' the husband said. 'And every now and then I'll try to send her a
few bucks myself.'
A doctor
examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room,
Took the husband
aside, and said, 'I don't like the looks of your wife at all.'
'Me neither doc,'
said the husband. 'But she's a great cook and really Good with the kids.'
An old man goes
to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has
been living with
for the last 40 years.
The Wizard says,
'Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words
that were used to
put the curse on you.'
The old man says
without hesitation, 'I now pronounce you man and wife.'
A blonde calls
Delta Airlines and asks, 'Can you tell me how long it'll
take to fly from
San Francisco to New York City ?'
The agent replies,
'Just a minute.'
'Thank you,' the
blonde says, and hangs up.
Two Mexican
detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.
'How was he
killed?' asked one detective.
'With a golf gun,'
the other detective replied.
'A golf gun! What
is a golf gun?'
'I don't know. But it
sure made a hole in Juan.'
Moe: 'My wife got
me to believe in religion.'
Joe: 'Really?'
Moe: 'Yeah. Until I married
her I didn't believe in Hell.'
A man is
recovering from surgery when the Surgical Nurse appears and asks him how he is
feeling.
'I'm O. K. But I
didn't like the four letter-words the doctor used in surgery,' he answered.
'What did he say,'
asked the nurse.
'Oops!'
While shopping
for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It
had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since
I had even
considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband's advice.
'What do you
think?' I asked. 'Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?'
'Better get a
bikini,' he replied. 'You'd never get it all in one
' He's still in intensive care.
The graveside
service just barely finished, when there was a massive clap of thunder,
followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder
rumbling in the distance... The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly
said, 'Well, she's there.'
Thank you Miss Jennifer. They are funny????
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